On the barren seashore

He patiently waited on the barren seashore,
Lazily gazed up at the empty, floating clouds.
Eyes glazed over by bright sunshine who quickly tore
Through the calm and captivating, deep azure crowds.


Over his feet, washed the emerald waves, cold frost,
Chills up his exhausted spine from the past few hours.
Fatigued by all the jagged stones he had since tossed,
In the freezing ocean they rest, while his loss; it devours.


The shells, softly nestled into the golden sand,
Fragile elegance they possessed provoked a tear.
He held one in the deserted palm of his hand
And wished for nothing more than her sweet voice to hear.


Alone on the beach, he traced forgotten footprints,
The echoes of crashing waves, his only partner.
Eternally, time lost in the disappeared imprints,
In solitude, to these sands he is destined to wander.


He patiently waited on the barren seashore,
Stared up at the sky and saw her smile from above,
Along the beach, she can’t join him anymore.
This was her favourite place to be, he visits every week
to remember his forgotten love.


-fortyeight

(inspired by John Keats’ “On Receiving A Curious Shell”)

Anonymous: Ur cute :)

Thank you.

Remember Me

fortyeight:

November 16th 1995


I saw my grandad today.
He asked how I liked the new bike
Dad got me for my birthday.
It’s red and goes fast,
Especially when I zoom past
the gates in my back yard.
He asked how I got the cut on my knee
The one that scarred, that I got from suddenly
hitting the brakes on my…

intro

writing an introduction is hard.

book progress

Protagonist currently being fleshed out personality-wise, other characters (antagonists in this case) fleshed out already. 
good times. c:

news

won’t be posting much on here for a while probably. going to start writing a book i’ve had the idea for for a while. 

thanks :)

-48

Dead and Gone

I came crashing into this life
Frightened and alone.
I’ll leave just the same,
Accompanied by pain and strife
Once I’m dead and gone.


The stars were my only friends,
Shining under the black hole sun.
Twinkled for my eyes only;
A cosmic shimmer that never ends,
Their course had finally been run.


The dreams were my only escape,
A paradise away from darkness.
Just like everything else, they turn.
Trapped in a nightmare, mind agape.
Subconsciously monstrous.


The people around that I hurt,
Sweet relationships became bitter.
It was always the same, it never changed.
I was a horribly dismissive introvert,
And now i’m just a cowardly quitter.


Those that tried to take me away,
Away from all the pain,
Their efforts were useless.
I won’t see another bright day
Or a starry midnight again.


For me, there is no hope.
I’m frightened and alone.
This was all just a huge waste.
I’ll tie a noose in this rope,
Now i’m dead and gone.


- fortyeight 

thanks for the love c:

Remember Me

November 16th 1995


I saw my grandad today.
He asked how I liked the new bike
Dad got me for my birthday.
It’s red and goes fast,
Especially when I zoom past
the gates in my back yard.
He asked how I got the cut on my knee
The one that scarred, that I got from suddenly
hitting the brakes on my new red bike too hard.
And he asked if I cried
when the nurse gave me stitches,
But I didn’t and I tried
to tell him but he wouldn’t believe me.


June 3rd 2000


I saw my grandad today.
He came to see me graduate from school
and asked if there was any way
he could help me find a job
for the summer, so I wouldn’t be a dirty slob
and sleep in til’ 4pm, which is what I call the morning.
He asked if I was still seeing “that girl”
who he reminded me called me her entire world,
but then dumped me without any warning.
He asked if we’d get back together,
To which I replied,
"Oh Jesus Christ, no. Never."
But he wouldn’t believe me.


January 9th 2004


I saw my grandad today.
He came over to congratulate me
for getting my Masters degree and to say
he’s proud of me for what I’ve become.
He asked if I would eventually succumb
to the creeping presence of marriage soon.
I told him I hadn’t met the “right girl” yet
To which he responded with a lucrative bet
Of a tall glass of his favourite scotch if I found a girl to swoon.
He asked if I had anyone in mind,
I told him I didn’t,
I said that she’s hard to find,
But he wouldn’t believe me.


November 19th 2008


I saw my grandad today.
I visited him at his humble home
Where I caught him up on my recent day-to-day.
I told him that he was right about the girl from before.
The girl I told him about years ago, the one that I swore
off for good. He was happy that we were engaged
and that I had finally found the one I was searching for after years.
After all this time, he said he’d known right from the start, that I’d face my fears
and finally commit to the idea. He’d finally won the bet we’d waged.
I offered him the drink I owed,
But he refused, as he was moving.
I replied, “You don’t have to live in that home.”
But he wouldn’t believe me.


October 22nd 2013


I saw my grandad today.
He didn’t say much. He just stared at the TV,
But he was glaring past it, into the distance, far away.
I told him about my son. I told him that I got him a red bike too.
I told him we bought a new house and that he can stay with us if he wanted to.
I told him I was actually happy. I told him that my life was finally great.
But he didn’t even seem to care. He just sat in his armchair and stared at the wall.
He showed me no love, happiness or compassion. It’s as if he’d forgotten about it all.
He asked me no questions and gave me no replies. To him, there was no reason to celebrate.
He moved his lips for the first time in an hour.
"Who are you?" he asked, and that was it.
I replied “I’m your grandson.” The words tasted horribly sour.
But he wouldn’t believe me.


- fortyeight

I’m Scared

Almighty in the sky,
Forgive me for what I’ve done
And shame me for what I haven’t.
If you leave me
Here again
To float
Alone
I will drown —
Sink like a stone.


Saviour way up high,
Others live simply every day
While I simply live, for the moment.
An effortless epiphany hits me —
I’m dying.
My light
Is dimming
Being swallowed by the dark —
I’m just daydreaming.


Strength inside me,
Please keep a firm grasp on my hand
Or i’ll slip, i’ll fall,
Forever and ever.
Time won’t stop.
It never waited
For me.
I’ll keep falling —
Endlessly.


Lost courage that I need,
Help me through all the hardships.
I need you now more than ever,
I’m being engulfed by midnight’s flame.
My hopes
Burnt down to ashes - Nothing.
Heavenly dreams and futures
Keep the roaring alive —
the inferno raging.


I spend my slighted time
turning seconds into hours
and hours in to wasted weeks.
I’m terrified of my distant future
and infinitely more scared
of what faces me tomorrow morning.


I need someone to help me,
I’m scared.

Change (4am)

I am changing like the indecisive seasons.
Seasons that speed past my fractured window.
Seasons that move along and leave for no reason.
Seasons that never say goodbye when they come and go.
Seasons that remind me of you.
— You, someone who never changes.
You’ll always be the same monotonous creature.
You’ll rarely adapt, through all of life’s stages.
You’ll remain the same and it’s your worst feature,
But —
You’ll always be the same
amazing You.

i hate these

I don’t like haikus —
Why do I even try to?
Stupid syllables.

:)

Simple thing bring smiles
You always make me smile wide —
But you’re so complex.